Collaborative Marriage Skills
 
Coming to Calvary in September! 

How important is communication in your marriage? I can’t hear your answer but mine is, It’s critically important! Communication, key to your marriage is much more than a nice cliché.

There are several ways we communicate to our spouse. It can be with a frown, a roll of the eyes, a puff of air from the mouth, a snort from the nose, crossing the arms on the chest, a grunt, our jesters, tone of the voice, remaining silent, or simply walking away. All of these fit into the negative non-verbal part of communication. There are positive nonverbals as well such as a smile, a wink, a touch, a nod of the head, a hug, and a kiss.

Then there are the negative verbal responses including blame, criticism, put-downs, labeling, sarcasm, attacking, and swearing. Conversely, positive verbal language can include thank you, great job, I am proud of you, help me understand, What else would you like to say?, How did I hurt you?, I am sorry, I regret doing/not doing…, I belittled you when I said/didn’t say…, and I would like to resolve this conflict with you in a caring manner.

In the communication pie there are only three pieces including the nonverbal actions, the tone of voice used, and the words spoken. The value placed on each of these slices is very interesting. Studies show that the words carry only 7% of the message; the tone of the voice and non-verbals (the jesters used, or the way one stands or sits) carry 93% of the message. In an ideal message, all three of these pie slices need to be together to send one message; if these items are not in agreement, the talker is sending two messages. The tone of voice and non-verbals will always be in agreement and if the words don’t agree there are two messages sent and the listener may be confused and wonder, I hear this and see that; which is it? Most people in our culture will almost automatically respond to the tone and non-verbal cues.

COMING SOON: Collaborative Marriage Skills is a four-session seminar for learning couple communication skills. As a couple, you will learn six talking skills, five listening skills, and nine steps to mapping an issue (conflict resolution skills). Here’s what Paul and Diane said after taking the seminar: It was the best investment in our marriage we’ve ever made! David and Jean said, The program has saved our marriage any number of times. You and your spouse will say similar things when you complete the seminar and apply these skills to your marriage.

Collaborative Marriage Skills September: 7, 14, 21, and 28, 2008 at 6:15-7:45 p.m. at Calvary Church. This seminar is limited to 10 couples. The cost of materials is $50 per couple (normally $250). You must register for this seminar; you may do so in the lobby before or after services on August 17, 24, and 31, or contact David Jamison. Dr. Jamison is a certified instructor for this material and has taught it to nearly 500 couples.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benifit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29