I. The mystery of Christ and the Church
A. Christ is the head of the church.
B. Jesus loves the bride enough to lay down his life for her.
C. This is a great secret that has been revealed.
II. Love and Respect
A. Men love.
B. Women respect.
III. What happens when we don’t love and respect?
Understanding the cycles (from book Love and Respect)
A. The crazy cycle
B. Waiting for the other to move – Quid pro quo
IV. So what? Application
A. Admire the problem. Look at the cycles. Name it.
B. Take full responsibility for your part.
C. Do your part no matter what.
1) Why does Jesus love the Church so much? Isn’t He aware of all the problems in local churches?
2) Exercise: on a scale of 1 to 10, rate your love for Jesus. Then on the same scale, rate your love for the local church. How do those two numbers compare? What strikes you about those numbers? Why do you suppose so many Christians love the church far less than Jesus?
3) What is the great mystery (secret) about Jesus and the Church? Why does Paul call this a mystery?
4) Is respect harder for wives to give and love for husbands? If not, then why give the commands that way? If so why? What makes that harder for each one?
5) In Love and Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs argues that men need respect and women need love (not that each don’t also need the other). When they don’t get these, it creates a negative cycle where both withhold what the other needs, creating a downward negative cycle (or crazy cycle).
Have you seen that in your relationships or in others? If you have observed this, what ways have you found effective in dealing with them?
6) What is wrong with bargaining for love and respect? (If you do this, then I will do that [quid pro quo]). Is that an effective strategy for building a thriving relationship over the long haul? If not, why not?
7) Have you ever had a situation where you disagreed with another about the size of a problem? Maybe one person is willing to admit that it’s a small issue and the other feels that it’s a really big deal? In that case, how easy is it to come to an agreed upon solution?
Why would admiring the problem lead to more buy-in on a solution?
8) Why is it so hard to do your part no matter what else is happening?
What new disciplines or tools might you need to help you to do your part no matter what?
9) What single step of obedience will you take considering what God is asking you to do?